What changed? Day 1 - Where are my shoes?

I woke up on the morning of March 8th in an unfamiliar room. My head was groggy, and it felt like my brain was going to pound right out of my head. I looked around in a haze to discover I was in the bedroom of a male acquaintance I had recently met through friends. I was relieved to discover I was fully clothed and on the opposite side of the bed, with no signs of any sexual engagement. I had no memory of how I had arrived there. The last memory I had was sitting alone at a bar, taking a shot of whiskey while waiting for my friend's to get out of a show. I had planned to attend that show with them, but due to my behavior from the blackout I had 3 days prior, I wasn't allowed in the venue. My thoughts were a mess, and flying around in my head in no particular order. Basic human needs needed to be met. I needed water. I stumbled to my feet, and walked down stairs to the kitchen. My friend gave me a bottle of water, and as I sat down a small bit of clarity came back. Then like a wave my anxiety kicked in. Where are my shoes? Where is my phone? Where is my scarf? Did I have a wallet? Did I bring a handbag out? I slowly combed the house looking for my belongings. The only item I found was my recently purchased $400 phone with the back missing. Great. How does a 27 year old woman find herself in an unfamiliar home, with no memory of hours of her life AND no shoes? Alcoholism.

That morning, something changed for me. I had lost so many things over the years because of my drinking. Losing a countless number of friends, money, clothing, expensive items, jobs, respect and dignity for the last 5 years caught up to me that morning. I was done. A switch was flipped and I was tired of wasting my life feeling anxious, ashamed, and hungover. It was time to change, and I was ready to do it. I had attempted to quit drinking a countless number of times before this day, but this time it was for me. I didn't have a catalyst, I had an epiphany. This was the first day of my new life.